State College Legal Blog

Are you thinking of divorce but unsure if you can do it or not? One thing that may influence your thinking is whether or not you have seen other people go through it. These people could be friends or family members.

In that sense, some researchers say that divorce is contagious. They note that it's easier for people to get divorced after witnessing it happen to someone else in their social circle. It makes them more likely to take that next step.

When one person asks for a divorce, or at least brings it up for the first time, it's common for the other spouse to wonder if they can save the marriage. They aren't sure that divorce is inevitable yet. They think they can still fix things.

That may be true. Relationships go through ups and downs. However, it may already be past the point of no return. It could be that your spouse didn't bring up divorce at all until they were 100% sure they were going to move forward with it no matter what. During that conversation, if they tell you the following things, you may have reached that point:

• Even if you changed your behavior or actions, they would still want to end the marriage.
• They have thought about a future with you and they just do not see it as a possibility.
• They are already being unfaithful to the marriage and have moved on emotionally.
• They feel apathetic about the whole thing. You may want to fix the relationship, but they honestly just do not care.
• They have been letting resentment build for a long time. The request for a divorce didn't come after a single event.
• They don't even want to try counseling because they know it won't help. For some couples, they have already tried and it made no real difference.

Just because you are getting divorced does not mean your daily schedule changes. You still have other obligations. You still have a strict schedule at work and goals you need to accomplish. How do you balance the two?

It can be difficult, especially if it's a stressful and complex divorce. Here are some tips that can help:

• Only talk on the phone or answer emails in a private setting. It's best not to do it at work at all, but, if you have no other choice and it's an urgent message, find a private place to do so.
• If you're sending divorce-related emails from the office, log out of your work email and use your personal account for those messages.
• Work in advance to coordinate the schedules. If you have a court hearing, for instance, tell your employer as far in advance as you can to get the time off. If you have a business trip, tell your legal team that you'll be out of town.
• Only tell the people who need to know. Don't talk about it with co-workers. At the same time, make sure you do tell people in key positions. For instance, if you set up your own bank account, you need to tell payroll where to wire the money. You may need to talk to human resources, and you may also have to tell your boss or supervisor so they can understand your time-off needs.

You know that it's illegal to lie during a divorce case. You have to be honest about everything. This includes how you both acted during the marriage, what assets you control and much more.

Unfortunately, just because it's illegal to lie does not mean that your spouse won't do it. It can be infuriating to hear them lie to the judge and mislead everyone about this case that is so important to you.